Nobody owes you the first five minutes

Drop-off is steepest between 00:30 and 03:00. Everything before that is momentum from the click; everything after it is people who have decided to stay.

Open with the thing, not the throat-clear

Cut the greeting, cut the housekeeping, cut the weather. Start with the strongest forty seconds you recorded, wherever in the session it happened.

Say what the episode is

One sentence. Not a tease, not a riddle. People stay for a promise they understand.

Put the credits where they belong

After the hook. Sponsors included. A sponsor read at 00:15 is worth less than the same read at 04:00, because fewer people are still listening.